No More Drama - Mary J. Bilge
No more pain. No more game. No drama. No more drama in my life.
Mary J. Bliges' song of her 5th album seems to capture how I've been feeling about my personal life over the last few weeks. In these few weeks I got drowned in so much drama that I felt as if there was no way out. I got to the point where I just had to say "NO MORE DRAMA" and get away from everything and everyone. This post will attempt to give a brief gist of what has been going on with my personal life these past few weeks.
November and the first half of this month (December) were filled with a lot of poison with little antidote. This poison came via friends, health, and even family. Some antidote came from school and music, though school was almost a bit of poison itself. I'll organize everything according to the headings I've listed and try to make them parallel to each other so it’s easy to follow.
FRIENDSHIPS
So my drama started at the beginning of November with an issue of conflict with my new roommate (moved in September) and his ex-girlfriend. My roommate and I were a sort of "online" friends who met via multiple Facebook conversations over a mutual friend's pictures on the site. We consequently added each other on MSN and began talking and became close enough that he eventually moved in with me in September. Though the move looked promising, it was much less than that. After he moved in I learned a lot more about him and found that he was much different than who I thought he was and drifted away from the qualities I first saw in him when we became friends. It seems as if this was influenced by his ex-girlfriend who could also be said to have moved into my apartment when he did as she has spent more days at my apartment than at her own residence. Although I was encouraged by many friends to have her either leave or limited at my place or pay rent, I tried to live with it because of my friendship with my roommate. I put up with this until the beginning of November when she began to possessive over the apartment and wanted everything to run either her way or no way at all. She tried to control who came over to the apartment and how cleaning was to be done. She started passing threats, as well as getting in huge fights with my roommate almost every or every other night which would get loud and also resulted in major damage to the apartment. My communication with her stopped and became limited with my roommate. At first I tried to make amends with her and my roommate, but it eventually seemed pointless. This went on throughout November, and by December we had some limited conversation. This was also stopped after some dramatic incidents that occurred in the second week of December that I decided it would be best to drop the friendship altogether. Some are worth continuously fighting for, while others eventually run their course. I didn't feel bad about my roommate’s ex, but because of how close my roommate and I were, it was a bit hard to let go of that friendship. It had to be done.
The loss of this friendship came with the gaining of a new one as well as a rekindling of an old one. During the time of this occurring drama, I got close to a friend of my roommate who felt the same pain as I did of his changed character and who he had become because of his ex-girlfriend. As a result, we went out and partied a few nights and eventually became really close to the point where we could be called "besties" now. I'm not one to open up to people right away, but we developed such a great friendship so fast that it now feels that we've known each other for a long time. In addition to this new friendship, I also rekindled my friendship with my former roommate and best friend. After moving out, we lost contact, not because we ended on bad terms, but because it felt as if we needed the space from each other. I decided to text her on a train ride home after exams and it resulted in an hour long phone call where we discussed 3.5 months of lost contact. Although it may seem like a small period of no contact, it was a lot for us as we were used to texting and seeing each other daily. Rekindling this friendship was very therapeutic for me as is one of my very few friends (if not the only one) who knows me inside out.
HEALTH
It was the second week of November and midterm time at school that I began getting a high fever and started coughing to the point where it felt painful to get out of bed to go to school. Because of the H1N1 flu that was going around I felt it would be a good idea to go to a doctor and get checked out to make sure I was okay. I went to a walk-in clinic and was there diagnosed with a mild version of the H1N1 flu. When the doctor gave me the news I was scared and "How Could This Happen to Me" by Simple Plan ran through my head. A tad dramatic, yes.
As a result of this illness, my sister called my parents and told them to come pick me up. At first I was against this idea, but I also felt I needed to get away from the drama going on with my roommate and his ex, so I agreed and thought I would get the best recovery at home with my parents. I went home for almost the rest of November and gained recovery near the end of the month. This was when I returned to Ottawa for the next two weeks to finish exams, and tie in some loose ends.
FAMILY
My family came in as both a contribution and a neutralizer from the ongoing drama of the last few weeks.
During my illness as well as friendship troubles, my sister was there for me and I talked to her and confided a lot in her. We would speak often and she would always make sure to call me and make sure I was feeling good. With my roommate issue, she would give me advice on how to handle it.
After I came back to Ottawa from being sick, my sister asked me to come and babysit for the week while I studied for exams. I would go over in the morning, do some work, pick up my nephew, come back and spend some quality time with him, watch TV, make some light snacks and study at the same time until it was time to pick up my niece. I would pick her up and my sister would then come home and I would leave. This went on for the week and was really fun. It was good bonding time with my nephew and niece and was also a sort of rehab from all the drama and sickness I went through.
At the end of that week, I got an unpleasant phone call from my sister. She was going through a bit of a crisis, and told me she made some other arrangements for the kids. Although I was a bit confused, I didn't want to question anything as she sounded both depressed and frustrated. Since that phone call we haven't spoken much anymore. This came as salt to my wound as my sister is very close to me and losing my bond with her would take away a significant part of me. Although it initially felt as a temporary crisis she was going through that would blow over, it has been going for a while and in that time we've distanced. I'm still hoping it’s just a phase and that everything will blow over by the new years.
SCHOOL
School was mostly an antidote and a good get away from all the drama. During the problem with my friends, going to campus and classes would be a great way for me to get my mind away from social problems and would keep me focused on my education.
However, this antidote eventually ran out once I got sick and needed to go home. I missed 2.5 weeks of school as a result of my illness. Missing two weeks in University is very risky as there is a lot of material to catch up on. When I came back to Ottawa, it was exam time and there was much to catch up on. This tied into friendship and family drama that catching up wasn't the easiest thing. Regardless, I did my best to catch up and just recently finished my in-class and essay exams.
THE ANTIDOTE RUNS OUT, AND POISON PENETRATES
With friendships, health, family, and school all coming together, I felt like I lost myself and was sinking in the sea of drama. One of my friends compares me to a TV character and says that she knows that "I just want to be 'no drama Adrianna'". With this comparison she is right; I do just want my life to be free of drama. To do this, I felt that letting go of some friendships that had a negative influence on my life needed to be done. When doing this support from other and closer friends provided me with a life float taking me out of sea. An hour after my last exam I hopped onto a train back to Toronto for the rest of December. This train served as hands dragging the life float out of sea bringing me to a shore without a drama. No more pain. No more game. No more drama. After being raided with continuous drama over the last few weeks, I'm at a place now where I want some peace and serenity. I feel that this time at home will help me get away from everything and will serve as an antidote fighting all the poison that's been injected into me.
So far it's been working. I've come closer to the friends that I want to be close with and have re-developed a great bond and connection with my parents. My health is now better and school is over for a while. Although there is some drama lingering with my sister, I'm hoping time will fix that and everything will blow over. Here's hoping that I've reached the point where there's no more drama in my life.
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