The Ping Pong Blog

Do You Know (The Ping Pong Song) – Enrique Iglesias

Do you know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away? That’s how that 2007 hit song by Enrique goes. On April 30th, a day I thought would be filled with happiness and excitement turned out to be a day where I was able to relate and understand how Enrique felt when writing the song.

It was my last day of exams for semester two of my first year in University. It was also the day where I’d be flying back to Toronto with a special friend of mine. Despite some tension between my dad and I at the time, everything was great and I was looking forward to finally finishing exams and going home for a weekend.

The day was going just perfectly till I received a text from my friend saying “We Need To Talk At The Airport”. I had knots in my stomach and I knew the outcome of this wouldn’t be good. I asked why and the description she gave me itself foreshadowed events to come. I suddenly did not want to go to the airport; I wanted to stay outside of my building where I got my text and pretend like nothing happened. Of course I couldn’t do that, and I biked to the mall from where I took my first bus before I had to get off and take a transfer. On the transfer I saw her standing with her luggage at the front of the bus. Acting like everything was perfect, she was all smiles and asking about my day and chatting like no tomorrow. I felt like nothing was wrong at all.

Shortly, we arrived at the airport, checked in, got through security check and sat down to wait for our flight; a flight that wouldn’t board for another hour. This is when the “talk” began. Before getting into those details, I’ll tell you a little about our relationship. The two of us were “seeing each other” for the last little bit and though it wasn’t official, we knew how we felt for each other and were extremely close. Whether it was a movie every week or just random hangouts, we definitely had a really nice “thing” going on. It was definitely a unique relationship.

We sat down and after much lollygagging, I asked what was up. She responded by saying she was hoping I wouldn’t bring it up and then finally got into it. She mentioned that over the last week or so she started talking to one of her friends from her high school over Facebook and they got really close. She went on to say that although they aren’t anything yet, she is going to visit him when she goes back and is going on a few dates with him. It wasn’t going to be anything official she said, just trying out something new. She paused. The pain I was feeling inside was immense, but I didn’t show it; I kept a straight face and let her continue. She then said that she feels really bad about it all, and knows that the two of us have something really special but she also needs the opportunity to go see other people since she just got out of a horrible relationship (before we started seeing each other). She paused. She asked what I thought. I was silent. I then asked,

“What about us?”

She gave a depressed smile and said she was hoping I wouldn’t ask that. She continued and talked about how we had something really special and that I was her “Khizer” on and on and how we have a great friendship. She then said that she would hope that maybe I wait for her (aka letting her see others then when she’s done, we settle) but that would be selfish. She then went to mention that she imagined what it would be like if we were married and that she liked what she saw. She said that she wouldn’t care if I saw others as well, though it would make her very jealous.

“Now you know how I feel,” I remarked. “It hurts, but I appreciate you telling me,” I went on to say.

She was now teary eyed. Our conversation continued and she went onto explain herself and finally ended with, “We’ll always have something special and if nothing else, at least there is always a great friendship.” By this point I didn’t need anymore explanations. It was done. I learned my lesson. I thought of Keri Hilson’s song “Knock You Down” featuring Kanye West and Ne-Yo:

I never thought this would happen to me…Sometimes love comes around, and it knocks you down, just get back up when it knocks you down.

I felt some tears coming down, but swallowed and ended off with a smile. Silent, I checked the time and saw that there was still about an hour before boarding.

“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?” I asked out of curiosity.

“It was sudden and I didn’t want you to not fly back with me anymore,” she replied.

I forced a nervous laugh. Shortly, the air hostess announced that there was a delay in our flight because of extreme weather conditions in Toronto. Great, just what I needed to make the situation even more awkward and uncomfortable.

After a while of silence, it seemed she got over it very fast as she suggested taking pictures, and took one of me immediately after telling me the news. Another forced laughter. I tried not to show much emotion and acted like nothing happened. On her end, it definitely felt like she was now over it and life would go on. Although it hurt, I did the same. At one point on the plane as she was playing some jokes on me she ironically said, “I love playing with you Khizer” to which I instantly replied “Yeah, you really do.” The night continued and it slowly became more silent with a few forced laughs thrown in.

After a long night, I finally got home. A home that I was expecting to be my shelter, there was still tension with my dad. This did not help my situation and I didn’t need any more conflict so I quickly ate and went to bed.

The next day I went to my Ancaster (what I feel is home to me) and met up with two of my best friends and vented my situation. I was glad they were there to listen and understand. A couple days went by and I was getting better with it. I decided to lurk Facebook and saw pictures of me taken from that dreaded night on her Facebook. Another thing I noticed: She was in a relationship. Yeah she did mention to me she was going to go out with the other guy on a few dates, but she also told me she wasn’t going to go into another relationship soon. Shocked at this I sent a text asking if she was planning on telling me she had a boyfriend or if I had to find out through Facebook. She replied with an excuse saying she was going to but her dad and her got in a fight when she was going to and she forgot.

The excuse itself was pretty lame, but it was also the fact that she told me something different at the airport and it turned into something different a few days later; three to be exact. After that, I was done. The little effort I was considering of making to make everything work out drained out of my system. I’m not really the type of person who cuts people out of their life forever, but this incident did push my buttons after all I put into the relationship. I haven’t spoken to her since and have made no contact as of late. Whether it will stay that way or if we may become ‘friends’ or just casual talking when in a group setting (we have a few mutual friends) is beyond me right now.

What I can say for sure is yes Enrique; I do know what it feels like loving someone that’s in a rush to throw you away.