Who I Am

Who's That Girl – Hilary Duff

Who’s that girl? Where’s she from? No she can’t be the one…that you want, that has stolen my world. It’s not real, it’s not right, it’s not day, it’s not night, by the way...who’s that girl? Living my life…Similar to how Hilary Duff felt when singing this ballad from her sophomore album, I’ve been going through a similar questioning period in my life.

Over the past month I got in so deep with drama, school, and bad health that I began to forget who I really am. I felt like I was just a body and someone else was living in it. After reflecting on this further, I felt that it wasn’t only over the past month but it was also throughout the year that someone else would be living my life. Someone else had stolen my world. Who was this person?

It wasn’t till I came back home for my December holidays that I had time to think about this. I needed to get away from my life in Ottawa and take some time to sit down and figure out who I was before I left for University and what I became in the 1st year and half of. To be honest, I didn’t know. I didn’t know what I had become, but I knew it wasn’t someone who I wanted to be. I wanted to be devoted to academics, but also have time for family and friends. I wanted to go out and party, but also know when to stop and where my limits were. I wanted my life to be prioritized, in which I would keep myself busy with school, extracurricular activities, work, and religion. I wanted to be a compassionate, generous, nice, down to earth and humble person. Was I?

I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t as religious as I wanted to be nor was I able to balance all the activities that I wanted to. I did however balance my friends and family. I did balance a job in my life, and did a tad better academically than I had during my first semester of university. This wasn’t enough for me. In 2010 I would be turning 20 and I knew I needed to take my life more seriously. I needed to make that transition from the lingering high school student in University to the mature adult in University. I needed to know where my priorities were and become more involved with my religion. Religion is very important, and losing it would be a grave mistake. I needed to choose my friends wisely and keep around me only the people who I could trust and who would love me for me. I needed to go through a metamorphosis. I needed to see what in my life needed to change, what needed to stay the same. This needed to be done to rediscover and revitalize the real Khizer. Who’s that Khiz? Where’s he from? Can he be the one?

With all this reflection, I formulated my resolutions for the New Year and new decade. As mentioned before, in this year, I’m turning 20 and I need to make my transition from teenager to adult. I need to figure out my focus, not only in life but also academically. Medicine? Law? Media? Whether it be law or medicine, I know media will always be a part of me. After all, I wouldn’t be Khizer without being Khizerlicious would I? As mentioned above, I need to become closer to my religion. I need to make sure I’m friends with people who I know will be there for me when I need and who I know I’ll be there for as well. Most of all, as previously mentioned, I need to go through this metamorphosis and revitalization to become the person I used to be and who I want to be. To do this, I will need to go through some self discovery, but as 2010 progresses, I’m sure this will all come naturally. Naturally, I will find out who this boy is. I’ll find out where he came from. I’ll take back my world and live my life.